SOOOO it has been a time. A very long time. Last I checked in I was about to start my 40 for 40. Forty new things that I planned to do during my fortieth year on this rock. Did I do it? Yes! Do I remember it all? Of course not! But I will say that things have been done, places have been visited, and life has been lived in that time.
Things like what?
Like the passing of my Daddy and the heartbreak that ensued. Like Mini Me attending and graduating from college.
Places like where?
Like Belgium and Amsterdam and Colombia and Minnesota and Morocco and Memphis and DC and and and
I jumped back to this page to tell y’all about it. Some things, some places that I’d love to share. It came to mind that I returned before, and stopped. And I reminded myself, that that is fine too. Sometimes we have to disappear for a while. Sometimes we have to pause. So I did.
A few years ago, I ran the NYC ING Marathon. I thought I was going to die. There is literally no other way to describe how my body felt, especially as I trekked through the Bronx. Once it was over however, I felt like I’d done a pretty good job (I wasn’t last) but I didn’t have any desire to run another marathon. A few years later, I ran one more Brooklyn Half (that would make my 3rd half marathon) and pretty much hung up my sneakers. Each time someone would ask when my next race was, I would “Evelyn” them.
Why are you speaking to me?
Later that progressed into “I just want to run Miami, then I’m done”.
Miami.
I have been watching the Miami Half Marathon since that Brooklyn Half in 2012. I saw the spinner medal and decided “Yep. I need that.” Literally no other reason. None. The weather? The crowd? The music? Nah. The medal. I then proceeded to do nothing to get it done. *one time for the dream chasers?*
Ok Sha so whats up? Did you run it or not?!
B
Yes. After years of procrastination, not finding anyone who wanted to run it with me, and deferring my 2018 entry due to my irregular heart rate…I ran Miami. I took my first trip to Miami, solo. I stayed on South Beach at a hotel I won’t bother to mention, and was up all night listening to oddly personal conversations being had in the hall. (Rick, whoever you are, you really need to call her.) I was up before 4am, tired, nervous, but I did it.
Was it fast? HAHAHA
Was it easy? Around mile 6 I stopped at the medic to ask for some tape because I could just tell I was going to have a “sore spot” on my foot if it kept rubbing. I was given a band-aid. I hobble ran along. I questioned my life decisions more than once along the way. WHY am I running if no one is chasing me?! When I got back to my hotel room on South Beach I had theeeeee BIGGEST friggin’ blister. IT. WAS. CRAZY. I had to call my Little and have her walk me through my Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman experience just so I could walk. So, nah, it wasn’t easy.
Was it nice at all Sha? Oh it was beautiful. Running with the water beside you and the sky clear is indeed one of life’s blessings. Considering the fact that it was supposed to rain the entire race, I was basking in God’s favor when not one drop fell for 13.1 miles.
It took me forever it feels. To decide. To register. To run. To finish. Guess what? I did though. I met my forever goal (I wasn’t last) and I got to enjoy an awesome meal that night as a reward. Yes, yes I had a drink as well!! LOL
So now I’m trying to find an obstacle course race to run…can’t stop, won’t stop! *Diddy Shimmy*
Whatever that thing is that you’re putting off? Just go ahead and do it.
I have literally been walking at a snail’s pace all day. It hurts when I laugh, sit, stand, and walk. I stretched my arms over my head earlier and let out a yelp reminiscent of a wounded chihuahua. I feel like I should be walking with a sign that says “Back in the Gym” so people can stop rushing me. Have I just started back at the gym? Nah. My love affair with Orangetheory Fitness started almost a year ago, and outside of being the laziest I could be all summer, into Halloween *judge your mammy* I have been pretty consistent. I even ran a half marathon at the end of January (more about that another day). The issue must be that I am*drumroll* getting older. I’m creeping up on 40 this year.
Walking up on 40 like a BOSS
I’m not sure if that shocks anyone other than I so I’ll keep pushing forward. For so many people turning 40 is a huge deal. You spend months deciding how you are going to bring in the BIG 4-0. I’m going to get a tattoo! I’m going to have a party! I’m going to take a trip! OK, great. But why cant the whole YEAR be a celebration?
Nobody said it can’t girl…oooh y’all are testy.
Well, in that case, my plan for 2019 is to do 40 new things in the year I turn 40. Specifically new. Not necessarily bucket listy type things, but things *I* have never done. Wait, I guess that is bucket listy. Whatever. The point is that I have to do 40 NEW things THIS year…not before I kick the bucket (who made that up?! It sounds terrible for real)
If you’re a 79 baby! Or an 80s baby (up next, don’t get comfortable!) or whatever baby (everybody can get down) what new things are YOU going to do??
In talking to one of my forever girlfriends I realized there are a bunch of things she hasn’t done that I have (gun range, solo movie date) but then there are SO many things that I haven’t done and I think I could make a real run for it this year. I still haven’t taken that spa day (sad I know, I mentioned that 3 years ago), I have never gone to a fancy dinner all by myself, and I’ve yet to dance in the rain…sober. So that’s the plan.
Now I do plan to keep y’all posted so come along for the ride!
Xoxo
PS. Yes, I did in fact change my blog name. Tell me what you think!
Don’t let your mouth write a check that your tail can’t cash. – Bo Diddly
I gave up. That’s all. I was going to start with “I can’t believe I did it again”, but truth is I can believe it because I didn’t even try. I started this blog with all the fire, and then just tapped out like…nah. Then of course, time did what time does and it went by quickly and I couldn’t catch up and it was too much time and it there was no point and and and
Well…
Happy New Year! *pours out a little for all the years that went by with no posts*
In my last post I said I wanted to catch you up on the Summer of 2015, which, at the time was one of the best summers of my adult life. It was quite an amazing summer, but I never took the time to sit and figure out a cool way to document it and the thought of doing so now fills me with dread- so here’s the list: (Basic. Yes, I know.)
Family Reunion in St. Kitts √
Essence Music Festival √
Vermont √
College Tour (North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Georgia) √
Myrtle Beach, SC √
Atlanta, GA √
Summers for me are generally just a random mix of things, as you can likely tell from this list. For some reason, Summer 2015 was just one of those ‘LIVE LIFE’ Summers *cue Lil Duval & Snoop* It was pretty epic.
It started off in Saint Kitts where I met family members I didn’t even know existed all these years, went to the beach, ate amazing food and just enjoyed my family. Wait, and TANNED. My complexion was unbelievable.
Followed that with a trip to Essence Music Fest in New Orleans with one of my best friends, France. That year we saw Missy, Usher, Kendrick (who, no offense, wasn’t super exciting to ME in concert at the time) and Mary J. Blige (SHE BROUGHT OUT METH!!). We hit Bourbon Street. Pat O’Briens was not a friend to me!
Sade: 0 Bourbon Street: 1
After Essence I road tripped to Vermont for the first time. It was a beautiful lodge and those few days spent there were not only relaxing but memorable. One of the men that worked at the lodge hitched a ride down the road that last day. Was pretty crazy considering I would NEVAHdo it nor would I let someone in my car under any other circumstances!! I checked a new state off of my list with this one as well. 😉
The Lodge at Mt Snow
One of my students had her heart set on attending an HBCU. As a huge proponent of HBCUs I wanted to help her in any way that I could. One of the wack parts of living on the West Coast is there are none here, the closest is Langston in Oklahoma. Because of this, I decided to give her a small taste of HBCU life. She did all the legwork (calling admissions, setting up tours) and I plotted the trip. I brought my nephew (a recent HS grad at the time) along and we road tripped! We went to Benedict College, North Carolina A & T, Johnson C. Smith, Alabama State University, Morehouse College, Spelman College, and Clark Atlanta University. Each of these schools was amazing in its own right but they fell in love with A & T immediately.
While in Birgmingham we stopped at the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute where they had an opportunity to view and listen to first hand accounts of the struggles during the civil rights movement. We got to spend time with one of my best sister friends, the Memory Maker in North Carolina and we stopped at the outlets to shop on the way back. The experience was amazing. Fast forward three and a half years and she is a flourishing junior at Morgan State University in Baltimore. I could not be more proud!!
Birmingham Civil Rights Institute
One of my Littles and that same nephew were going on a road trip to Myrtle Beach a few weeks later. Apparently there’s a road trip theme that I somehow JUST realized *dial up, not high speed* We went to the beach, ate seafood, and just kicked it!
What we did at Crabby George’s should be a crime!!! Amazing!
Lastly, I went back to Atlanta to visit France again. We ended up at the Boyz II Men/ BBD concert and if I have to tell you how that was, you are not a friend to me!!
All in all the Summer of 2015 was amazing. I set off my bucket list in grand fashion and have continued it over the years that followed. That update is forthcoming.
I promised. I delivered. It may not be fairy dust and unicorns but the check is cashed so I do indeed breathe a sigh of relief.
I will write another check right now however, I’m back, I’m checking off items off my live life list, AND I’ll update you…more consistently!
Where have I been? Well, everywhere it seems. If you read my last post you know that I was all about checking off the bucket list. Fortunately for me, I just had one of the best summers of my adult life and there was a LOT of bucket list checking going on!! *insert whoop whoop here*
I’m trying to think of the best way to share, so be a tiny bit more patient with me (PLEASE) and I’ll be back with some details of what was indeed a wonderful time!
“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well” – Diane Ackerman
The other day in my group messages with my Littles (sisters this time…there is a trend here) I asked them if they’d written bucket lists. One didn’t reply (because she is generally ornery and rude in this fashion) but the other said she would write one down in a few days. We went back and forth a bit about it and one of the texts I wrote said:
” I’ve been looking at life..in general and my own and I’m like.. we spend our lives talking about sh*t we wanna do and never doing it. I just don’t want that to be my story anymore. I got bins and bins of STUFF and still got 4 continents I never stepped foot on. Nah”
Grammar is not a big deal in our group messages. It’s not a deal at all as you can probably tell.
Nevertheless that message is truly how I have been feeling for a few months now. I told a few friends I think I’m going through my pre-mid life crisis (I probably made that up) and we had a little laugh together over it. Truthfully however, I do feel that way…as though life could very well pass me by if I don’t get to doing some of the things my heart tells me to do. In some ways it’s about making sure the things I am doing are things I am passionate about, things I feel are making me a better person in the end, things that will leave me satisfied with the life I led.
So here we arrive at a bucket list. Google definition states :a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime.
Now I know someone may be feeling a little iffy about the “lifetime” part of that definition but at the end of the day every one of our goals, everything in your planner, calendar and set to alarm in your phone is something you want to accomplish during your lifetime. I don’t want you to walk away feeling as though bucket listing is what people do only when they’ve been given a year to live (especially because if that were my diagnosis I would be laying in the middle of the street in Times Square, not thinking about a list of any kind). Everyone can make a bucket list, at any moment in life, with no focus on death. And I believe they should.
Why Sha?
I’m glad you asked. Simply because if we don’t do those things our hearts tell us to do we aren’t really living a life at all. At least that’s the way I see it. I told you this before, I don’t want to wake up one morning at 60 thinking about how many things I wish I had done when I was younger. I would be remiss if i totally ignored the “morbid” fact that…here it comes…tomorrow isn’t promised man! And if you don’t plan to do the things you wish to do.. you might miss your chance. Period.
What should go on the list? Anything you know in your heart you want to do. Anything you’ve seen someone else do and said to yourself ” hey that looks pretty dope I wanna do that”. Anything you saw when you Googled “bucket lists”, or put on your Pinterest board. Anything your mom did and said was fun. Anything you saw in one of your very vivid, woke you up in a cold sweat type dreams (just me?). ANYTHING. Does your bucket list have to be realistic? Only as realistic as you make it. Does it have to include trips? Of course not.Can it just be a list of things I want to do to make myself a better person? Of course. You may not desire to travel the world (though I would seriously suggest you rethink that), write down what YOUR heart tells you to write down. Be really though, this is not a list making activity. Don’t just write these things down and never plan to do them. The writing is STEP 1.
Bucket List Ideas :
Watch the top ten IMDB movies (there are over 200.. you might want to, but Sade does not).
Buy something for someone in the drive thru behind you.
Take a day trip to the spa and get the works ( I plan to get it done asap, simply can’t believe I have never!)
Travel to all of the museums in your current state (most have a free/discounted day)
All 50 states (I currently have…like half left sigh)
See all 7 wonders of the modern world ( who wants to join me?)
See? It is fairly simple. Write down the things you want to do, include a time line, work out the fees (if any), and DO them. You literally have nothing to lose if you do it…and so much to lose if you don’t.
So, who has a bucket list? Or is writing one now? Write a few of your own bucket list items in the comments…I look forward to stealing reading them.
-xoxo
“You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will”-Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
In 201o I ran the NYC Marathon. I thought I was going to die. Seriously…thought I was going to die. A few days after continuing to live I wrote a little piece…on Facebook (because I’m deep) called 26.2 things I learned, or something super deep like that. Some of my friends, (the real ones, not the ones who just say Happy Birthday and then wait a year to write on your page again) told me I should be writing a blog. Me? Now? Nah.
so yeah..here I am. In 2015. Whatever, I never said I was a go getter.
The other day while texting (there is a red line under “texting”. why? what the heck? That isn’t a word? I teach English by the way. Pray for the babies) my BiggerLittle (this is what I call my little brother, if you can’t figure out why you should probably stop here and no longer read my post) I went on this huge rant…which is SO unlike me, about how I don’t want to wake up one morning at 60 realizing I never did the things I said I wanted to do, wishing I had gone places and done things and ran and jumped and read good books and wrote stories and and and…he replied “just write” (he’s deep) so…here I am.
I’ll cross things off my bucket list as I go…travel..eat good food..and just be. Because when I’m 60, I wanna be able to be able to look back and not regret the things I didn’t do. So..join me if you’d like. Cross off some items with me, or try to do some and change your mind just like I might LOL Remember failing isn’t failing if you learn something from it.. Right? (Deep)
Been There, Done That 